THANKSGIVING...NOT JUST TURKEY AND DALLAS COWBOYS ANYMORE

A thankful dad embraces hope for today and tomorrow

By Sean Cutshall

Thanksgiving Day has always been about eating turkey, seeing family and watching the Dallas Cowboys, but that was before I became a dad.

Let's be honest, the Thanksgiving will always include turkey and Cowboys, but today there is more meaning to this special day. There is gratitude and thankfulness to be shared. For some, and I'd bet even some dads, this gratefulness still gets lost in the full stomach of the day. But for me, a dad who is thankful for the family he has at home, and the daughter who lives some miles away, no amount of forgetfulness can be allowed.

There were days, not so long ago, I had neither of these things, and only hoped for the chance to one be called the name I'd always wanted.....dad. And, to some people, this name only represents a label, a risky loss to a risky action. God willing, I pray this name never become a label but a way of life. And, a legacy nobody can deny. Being a father is something I've always wanted, and while the situations surrounding me and my duty of fatherhood never quite develop the way I had envisioned, the absolute fact of my life today is as meaningful as anything I could have hoped.

I have embraced being a step father, and would change not a single day of its' lessons and rewards. Yet, I have to think it's not fully complete, as my daughter Keeley grows another day older on the other side of the state. As her mother and I continue to go to court for an established parenting plan, I miss her smile everyday, and our family miss her place at our table.

I fight back bitterness and tears as my only contact on this Thanksgiving Day is by phone, but in the end, I thank God for the opportunity I have at home to be a father, to make a difference; and for the opportunity to continue to hope and pray for a more meaningful, consistent interaction with my daughter Keeley.

Today is special. I am thankful and grateful to be more today than I've ever been. I'm a better son, grateful husband and a thankful and grateful father. I am challenged today to not be a title by default, but a dad by a blessing. I am Sean Cutshall, and I am Destiny Daddy.

A dad's holiday wish

By Sean Cutshall

Forget a new pair of white and blue Nike AirMax, or the new, inexpensive touch screen tablets, the only thing this dad wants for Christmas is to see, touch and talk to my daughter.

Still in the midst of establishing a parenting plan, visits with my daughter do not come often. And I, regrettably have not made the most of the chances I have had to spend time with my daughter. My daughter lives four hours away, and as a dad, there is no excuse for my not seeing her more. It is not easy, nor is it something I can just jump in a car and do; but I must make this a bigger priority in the next couple months.

For all you dads who have the ability to touch and hold your child every day, never let a day go by where you don't make the most of that blessing. It's an opportunity, and gift, not every parent gets to experience.I am growing as a person,  dealing with this absence of child in my everyday life, but my growth as a parent can only go so far. I miss the everyday connection, and the monumental memories that can only be created by contact and face-to-face communication. A phone call means more than an updated between my daughter and me, it is a connection instrument that leaves me near tears every time.

I love my daughter, and I refuse to settle into this role of distant fatherhood. Those around me still say, "It is what it is." But I'm not OK with that, nor would it sit well with me if a year from now I'm still depending on Thomas Edison's invention to fuel my relationship with my daughter. She deserves more, and I deserve the gift of fathering her on more personal basis. 

While this Thanksgiving I will bow my head and thank my God for the beautiful gift of my daughter Keeley, and the gift of being a father to Tyler and Savannah, I will have only one real wish for Christmas. I want and hope for the best gift of all, to see, touch and hold my daughter. And, if I'm with my daughter while wearing my white and blue Nike AirMax, while playing on my new, inexpensive, touch-screen tablet, then even better.

Some regrets only get bigger

By Sean Cutshall

There is nothing soothing about realizing or acknowledging your regrets in life, and as a dad trying to find his role in parenthood, some regrets only get bigger.

Being a dad is nothing like what I thought it would be, yet it's every bit the exact thing I hoped it would be. To the normal person, I can see how this might be a confusing statement. Heck, even writing it, I wondered the sanity. So, let me explain. I had hopes becoming a dad would answer all life's questions and misunderstandings. I thought this miraculous birth of life would cure my shortcomings, and my failures would be granted a reprieve. None of which has proven to be a true. My daughter's beautiful smile, and innocent laughter didn't equate to a clear voice of direction in my life.

Although the heavens didn't open up and give me all that I had been lacking prior to the birth of my daughter, it did give me something I can never lose. It gave me hope, and hard-fast reason to be more each and every day I'm alive. Being a dad doesn't let you fast forward through all the pain and incentives of growth, but it gives you a real live meaning in life.

I used to think being a dad would be all I'd ever need in life, but I've realized, being a father makes being successful at everything else even more important and gratifying.

My daughter doesn't see or feel the struggle I'm going through trying to find my role as a good dad yet, but one day soon she will look in my eyes and see a man who fought hard to to be the dad she needs. As a step dad to two beautiful kids now, I understand the importance and urgency in my arrival at this place. Children are truly a product of the words and actions of their parents. As a dad who is proud to have such a huge responsibility, I wonder how much I've affected these outcomes by missed time or misplaced words.

Today, I am grateful for the chance to mold a life, and love a soul. I expect nothing but the hope that continues to fuel me, and the knowledge that everything I do will play a part in my future, and the future of my children. I've given up on creating that life everyone will be proud of, or stand up and celebrate. Don't confuse this as me giving up on me, or the value of my life. Today, I understand something even bigger than me. It' s my Legacy. And, while I may feel my voice of fatherhood may get lost at times, the impact of everything I'm doing is my legacy. So, while my regrets may grow bigger, so does the impact of my growth.