Everything I'm Not

Everything I'm Not
by Sean Cutshall

My actions have not allowed me to be a perfect example for anything or anyone, and my words, over the generation of me, has been losing its' power and influence. In this event, my expectations of fatherhood have been crippled by a track record dented in failure. But through my beautiful daughter's presence, and everything she will one day stand for, my words and existence gain power and influence with every passing day.

I believe there is a voice inside me, and, while it has been dulled by certain actions and events of my life, it is growing strong. I have a daughter, and I am a father. Nothing ever was so clear to me, and the opportunities and possibilities are endless. I can exist, without a label from my past. I can teach, without having the tools of first hand, successful knowledge. I can guard, protect and never second guess the angels that are on my side. Believe it or not, I can love in ways I've never shown my own self. My daughter, you are perfect. I am your father, and, now, I am perfect. Everything that has happened in my life has new meaning, and reason for its' existence.

I've been confined in a prison, tagged an addict, legally expected to be a "felon", and labeled A.D.H.D. by anyone within an arms length of my fidgeting legs, but I am a father today. I have been given a specific position, as Keeley's father, no other candidate dared even apply. With all that is inside me, I wish for my daughter to hear my words, and listen to the voice that is coming from deep inside me. This voice is growing, and it's a language my daughter will hear. I will be strong, and will give her everything I am. And, in return, I know she will become everything I am not.