First day of childcare

First day of childcare
by Sean Cutshall

Today, I dropped off more than my 8-month old daughter at her first day of childcare, I dropped off a piece of me. Forgotten, are the events in life, up till now, I considered to be tough or emotional. Today, as I shut the door, and walked away from my daughter and her new childcare provider, I felt a tug at my heart I'd never felt.

Yes, I know, maybe a little dramatic, but "NO", not really. I remember distinctively the emotional free-fall from broken hearts, broken egos and the home-sick nausea from my first days away at college, but there was a moment today that compared equally to all these heartaches, but in no way could I say was the same. For me, and I understand my background and journey may have influence on my desire to capture and feel every moment in it's intensity, it was a feeling of heartache I am completely, profoundly grateful to experience.

I dropped my daughter with the intention to make it a short-lived day for her on her first day, but truth be told, the short-lived day was more for my inability to hold myself back from racing back to save her. I walked in the door, sat down on the floor, and watched how my daughter saw me. She captured my eyes, and in an instant gave me the proudest day of my life. She raced, via the army-crawl, to my lap. And while I may have dropped of my daughter and a piece of me that morning, I picked up a new personal strength, a personal pride and found every reason I could ever need to continue my journey I've started. I am Sean, and I am Destiny Daddy.