Instant Gratification

Friday, April 9, 2010
Instant Gratification
by Sean Cutshall

As a man known for the posession of instant gratification toys, tools and theories, something new in my life has given me a whole new meaning to the words.

I'm somewhat of an expert in the field of instant gratification, having used drugs, relationship and even traumatic experiences or crisis to feel instantaneaously better or worse. For whatever reason, I have become accustomed to high degrees of change in my life. The gratification and satisfaction aspect came from the change, not necessarily the joy or comfort in the new surroundings or present feeling.

Holding my daughter, and watching her interact with her mother, others or even the light coming from the other room, makes for a gratification that is all about the here and now. Keeley represents the here and now, and for the first time in my life, I'm not going to find any comfort or joy from leaving or changing this moment, or the next moment. I'm learning, right now, to accept the pure, overwhelming gift of forgiveness she represents in my life. And, it is a forgiveness that comes from no effort or consequence of mine. Her presence, alone, gives a meaning, weight and importance to my life that no future action, accomplishment or behavior could have ever given. She is re-emergence to life and my pathway to a destiny that is me. I am Sean, and I am Destiny Daddy.