Better late than never

Better late than never
By Sean Cutshall

Research shows that fatherhood becomes more risky the older a male, especially once he nears the age of 40. Despite all the research that indicates a male does have a genetically healthier sperm under the age of 40, most tests conclude all this goes out the window once the baby arrives, and is healthy.

I won't allow you the satisfaction of knowing my exact age, but I will say I paid particularly close attention to this study. While I'm not in my 40's, neither am I in the early stages of mature adulthood, otherwise known as the 20's. Also, I was even more satisfied to open the window to this study, as my daughter came into this world healthy. I am blessed with a child, who only at the age of five-months, does not have any signs of autism, schizophrenia, dwarfism or abnormalities. While I call this a blessing, I feel my daughter would have been a blessing no matter the package she was delivered to me. She is heart-warming, everyday reminder of the beautiful ever-present power of God, and His personal way of saying my life still, and always has, been as important part of a greater purpose for me and those around me.

Honestly, I can't help but think of how my age may one day affect the way I raise my daughter, but I refuse to look at it as a negative. Being a father is something I've always wanted since early on in my life, even as I finished high school. I knew fatherhood would be a gift. Who knows why it never happened for me early on in my life, but I submerge myself in all the positive things about being a father at this later stage in my life.

I believe, at my age, I can participate more in the day to day raising of my daughter. I see myself more patient, more mature and able to nurture better at this age, rather than a earlier time in my life. With me personally, I have had to experience some things in my life, and it has defined me as a person. Ultimately, I believe it will be this strength, independence, sensitivity for people and their struggles, and gratefulness for the here and now that I want to instill in my daughter.

A University of California, San Diego, study suggest that parents today are more involved on a daily basis in the raising of their children, but that the natural-developmental approach is not as common. For me, my experiences has helped to appreciate both these thoughts. I am a father, and I will be involved, help her to avoid some of the potholes I fell in, but I will also try to father by encouraging her to step out and being an individual, capable of being warm and aware of the simplistic beauty in the ever-changing moments of our lives. I believe that this awareness can be just as beneficial to the outcome of her life as all the planning and preparation some might suggest as being the most important part of child raising.

No longer young, and starting fatherhood later than the average American male, I look forward to being this new role in my life. And, while some may argue it's strength, I refuse to give any power to the opposite. My daughter will be strong because I've had more to years to overcome. My daughter will be an influential person in her world because I have finally, after many years of banging my head on the street, become teachable to these years of experiences. My daughter will be grateful for the real evidence of life and beauty around her because, after so many years of seeing both good and evil, I have a real appreciation for those things that inspire. Like no other time in my life, I can look outside myself and see the beauty in me. And, it's this beauty, appreciation and gratefulness that will enable me to be greatest daddy possible for my baby girl.