Everything I'm Not
by Sean Cutshall
My actions have not allowed me to be a perfect example for anything or anyone, and my words, over the generation of me, has been losing its' power and influence. In this event, my expectations of fatherhood have been crippled by a track record dented in failure. But through my beautiful daughter's presence, and everything she will one day stand for, my words and existence gain power and influence with every passing day.
I believe there is a voice inside me, and, while it has been dulled by certain actions and events of my life, it is growing strong. I have a daughter, and I am a father. Nothing ever was so clear to me, and the opportunities and possibilities are endless. I can exist, without a label from my past. I can teach, without having the tools of first hand, successful knowledge. I can guard, protect and never second guess the angels that are on my side. Believe it or not, I can love in ways I've never shown my own self. My daughter, you are perfect. I am your father, and, now, I am perfect. Everything that has happened in my life has new meaning, and reason for its' existence.
I've been confined in a prison, tagged an addict, legally expected to be a "felon", and labeled A.D.H.D. by anyone within an arms length of my fidgeting legs, but I am a father today. I have been given a specific position, as Keeley's father, no other candidate dared even apply. With all that is inside me, I wish for my daughter to hear my words, and listen to the voice that is coming from deep inside me. This voice is growing, and it's a language my daughter will hear. I will be strong, and will give her everything I am. And, in return, I know she will become everything I am not.
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awesome man! you're gonna do this! all that you ever wanted will come to pass! you will be the man you've always wanted to be & you will be the father to Keeley that God has called you to be! keep writing bro, it's really really good stuff & while probably therapeutic? for you it's going to touch alot of lives & most importantly i believe it brings you closer & closer to being the man you want to be. none of us have made it, none of us have attained anything until we come to the END of our journey! we are ALL just trying to find our way and nothing in our past counts against us, it's ALL about learning from it & keep stepping forward. when we get to the END of our journey & we've conquered those giants in the land & defeated our demons & have passed on what we've learned to those closest to us, then we'll see that all those supposed failings weren't really failings at all but just obstacles for us to overcome to make us stronger & stronger until we fulfill our purpose & our destiny. Iron is forged by fire to take the shape of a useful tool or weapon. We are IRON! Keep writing & getting stronger & stronger brother!
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