My Daughter, My Reprieve

As long as I draw breath, I will never forget October 22, 2009, nor will every single day that follows be easily forgotten. I am a felon, college graduate, former newspaper reporter, a recovering and one-day cured addict and most importantly, now a father. I choose to be none of those things anymore. I choose to be Sean, a man, who my five-month old daugter will one day soon pronounce as "daddy.

Even to this day, I can't explain the reasons why my life seemed to jump from promising future to chaos and confinement, but the misfiring or lack of real connection to personal understanding opened up the day my daughter was born, and I realize my future holds a new set of expectations and possibilities. It no longer is so important to connect the dots of my life in a systematic way for people to understand anymore, it only matters that my daughter and family don't see me as these scrambled dots, but as a father.

I'm undressing from these labels, obstacles, limitations and putting on a new outlook. Yes, I have done things I regret, been confined in places I wish to never return, broken the hearts of family and friends I could never repair, but I've been given a reprieve. It came in a small little package, that I'm thankful I was never allowed to open till five months ago. My reprieve come with some specific instructions. The fine print said only this, in the future you must do things you can't wait to admit, be confined to places and people you could never do without and love those family and fiends who never let go.

That small, little package is my daughter, my reprieve.